28...

Frank dropped the telephone receiver back onto the phone with cold frustration. He stared at the machine intently, cocking his head slightly to the left, and then with a violent rush pushed the whole thing off the desk and onto the floor. He smiled slightly at the loud clang it produced. Lighting a cigarette and leaning back in his chair, Frank stared at the ceiling while Bryan came around the other side of the desk and picked the phone up off the ground. Frank knew somehow that he was going to do that.
“What’s going on?” Bryan asked with a barely perceptible smile at the corners that he just couldn’t bring himself to hide. To Bryan, this would probably beat the hell out of any soap opera out there.
“The guy sounded like a god damn speed freak!” Frank muttered, spitting smoke at the sky. “He sounded like Jeffery did in the end.”
“What’d he say?” Bryan was leaning on the desk, leaning in closer.
“He said that some guy showed up in his apartment one day looking for Alexis, and that this guy said that Alexis had killed someone.”
“But you don’t think it’s true? You think it’s just tweaker ramble?”
“Sure, it’s probably true. Why not?” Frank began to smile as he took another drag. “I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“Because if you knew this guy, if you new Lou…” Frank leaned forward and looked into Bryan’s eyes with a fiery, red intensity. “This guy was Joe Fucking America, the perfect guy, right? He was good looking, nice body, athletic, smart enough, really nice… I mean really nice, you just wanted to slap him around a little bit he was so nice. Essentially, you just wanted to find a weakness in this guy, you know? Find that one thing that would bring him down closer to your level. I wanted to find out the guy was a drunk driver, or hit like a girl or ate puppies; anything. But he was just a nice guy.”
“That’s hateful.”
“Bullshit, that’s human.”
“And so hooray, you finally found his weakness.”
“I finally found his weakness,” Frank repeated in a monotone.
“He’s a speed freak,” Bryan was quickly losing interest and was glancing around the artifact site that was Frank’s desk.
“No!” Frank practically gleefully shouted. “Alexis is his weakness. His involvement with that vixen left the man broken. Me, still kicking and looking for more.”
Bryan looked quickly back up towards Frank with a look of theatrical disbelief and feigned annoyance before setting his fingers to randomly rummage through a stack of papers on the floor.
“I’m stronger than Lou Deeds.” Frank said proudly as he stamped out his cigarette.
“Hey Superman,” Bryan asked with a smile painting his voice a bright blue. “What is this?”
He held up a rumpled mass of newsprint triumphantly. With a matter-of-fact voice that showed no hint of the embarrassment Bryan was hoping for, Frank replied:
“That, my dear Bryan, is a copy of Wank.”